Well that was exhausting.

It’s the end of November now… the last time I wrote it was the beginning of September.  I can’t believe so much time has passed - it feels like I blinked and now here I am.  A lot has happened… here’s a brief synopsis:

School went well.  I got straight A’s for the first time in my life.  I made some connections that will be beneficial down the road.  I learned a lot about myself.

•  Like what my limit is.  And how to stop short of the limit and breaking myself.
• That I can get out of bed.  Seems simple, but there were days that it hurt to put my feet on the floor and stand up, and no matter what, I stood up.  
• That I can focus through the haze - no matter how exhuasted I was, I always managed to focus through the fog.  
• That I am really fucking good at this.  This was absolutely the right choice.  

Work has been going well.  It’s really nice to work in an industry where working hard doesn’t feel pointless… you actually get somewhere when you work harder than your peers.  People notice. It takes you places.  

I moved.  Again.  Had a bad experience at my old place and subsequently got the hell out of there.  Hopefully this will be the last time I move for awhile.  I’m in love with the new place even though it’s small, and relieved to be out of the old place, so it’s all good.  Even my cat is happier here.

I discovered an emotional strength that I didn’t know I had… although it isn’t quite constant yet.  It comes and goes, so to cope when it goes, I write (by hand… it’s kind of soothing).  It’s really interesting how a little leather bound notebook can heal your soul.  

I learned to appreciate little every day moments, and it has made me a million times happier.  

I found a friend-within-a-friend (x2).  Sometimes, you rediscover someone you already knew and start seeing them in a new light… it can be amazing.

I’ve changed.  Grown up. Learned some lessons.  And I feel a little like I’ve lost a couple of people because of it.  Which is sad, but is how life goes sometimes.   I’m okay with it.  

So it’s been a long and yet very short three months.  Lots of lessons.  Lots of good and just enough bad (you have to have some… or the good doesn’t seem as good).  

In the wake of all these lessons I’ve decided to only go back to school part time.  It just doesn’t make sense to be killing myself.  I’ll be burnt out before I finish school and then what?  So I’m going to focus on work, take it easy with school, and go from there.  I have my whole life ahead of me, what’s the sense in trying to pack so much in right this minute?  Patience is a virtue. And sometimes, waiting a little makes the end result that much sweeter.