The struggle to achieve dream x.

I keep harping on about striving for your dreams and how amazing it has been for me thus far.  

This, however, is the end of a very long day, which wasn’t even close to as long as the last four.  I am exhausted.  I’m still optimistic, I’m even more certain now that I have made the right choices, but I am absolutely exhausted. 

I started school full time this past week.  That means that I have to be in my classroom/kitchen from 7 am until 1pm Monday through Thursday.

To maintain my lifestyle (living on my own, paying for my car and the corresponding insurance etc. etc. etc.) I can not afford to work less than 40 hours a week.  

That means that my week basically goes like this: Drive, school, drive, work, drive, sleep for 6 hours if I’m lucky, repeat X4, then drive, work, sleep, repeat X3. And that’s seven days folks.  I barely have time to eat sleep and shower.  Never mind see my family or have a social life.

I don’t want this post to be misconstrued as a complaint; I just want everyone out there to see the cost of following your dreams and really understand what it means to make sacrifices to get there and what that can be like.  It’s not always all sunshine and flowers.  More often than not, it’s really, really, REALLY difficult.  Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to.  Sometimes you don’t see your friends and family.  Sometimes, you’re so exhausted that you feel physically ill.  But, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.  That one shining goal that makes it all worth it.  What’s that goal? Happiness.  

Here’s something I’ve learned about happiness recently: you have to work for it.  And it’s not always easy.  And there are often multiple steps toward getting there (you have to go through B, C, D, E, F (etc.) to get from A to Z.  But, the feeling you get when you hit each marker reminds you that everything is worth it to reach your destination…

It took a lot for me to make the first move towards my goal (changing jobs and moving and enrolling in school).  There were so many factors, so many pro’s and con’s.  But when I got from A to B, it felt great.  The journey between the two was like a hike through some rolling hills.  It had its ups and downs, there were some steeper spots, but it was still beautiful. Now, I am on the way from B to C, and this hike is more like scaling a cliff.  Climbing that rock is extraordinarily difficult - there are a very few good handholds and even fewer spots to rest.  The height can be terrifying at times, and my body is screaming for a release, to relax for just a moment or two.  But, if you’ve ever been rock climbing, just when the lactic acid burn gets to its height, your hands begin to cramp and you think your muscles are going to give out, you get to the top of the rock, and the satisfaction is unparalleled.